


Sex Education

by khilari



Category: Toy Story Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-01
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 22:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khilari/pseuds/khilari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The toys can't figure out what Bonnie's parents are doing. Woody knows but would rather not explain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Education

Jessie and Bullseye are the first to investigate the noises coming from Bonnie’s parents’ room. When they apparently can’t figure out what they’re seeing they come back and take the others along to see if they can help. Woody doesn’t go with them, he rather thinks he knows what’s going on and anyway he’s comfortable where he is, nestled next to Bonnie who is thankfully sound asleep. Only the toys don’t come back and Bonnie’s parents are clearly _awake_ , so if one of them looks up it’s entirely possible they’ll see a whole array of voyeuristic toys. Woody groans and extricates himself from Bonnie’s arms.

They are all standing where he expected, peering around the door to Bonnie’s parents’ room. Mr Potato Head is literally poking an eye around the door while the others try to squeeze into the gap. Even Buzz, who glows in the dark and should know better.

‘Guys,’ Woody whispers. ‘You can’t stand here all night. What if they come out here? Or if Bonnie wakes up?’

‘Do you know what they’re doing?’ asks Jessie.

‘Is it like that stuff Andy did?’ Rex adds.

Woody bites his lip, at least the pre-school toys had been sold before Andy began that phase. ‘Kind of,’ he tries. ‘Only with two people.’

‘But what is it?’ Jessie insists. ‘And why are they doing it?’

‘They appear to find it pleasurable,’ says Buzz.

‘It’s a human thing. Nothing toys need to know about,’ says Woody. ‘Now come back into Bonnie’s bedroom and forget about it.’

Okay, so the chances of them obeying him are slim. But he is _not_ going to provide sex education to a bunch of toys. He turns away and walks back towards Bonnie’s room, relieved when they actually follow.

‘You seem to know about it,’ says Hamm slyly. Yes, Woody does know about it and rather more than he wants to. Since his previous owner decided to keep him on a shelf in the master bedroom until Andy was old enough for him he didn’t have much choice but to observe.

‘Tell us what it’s called and we can look it up on the internet,’ suggests Trixie.

It sounds like a good idea to Woody. Anything that doesn’t involve him explaining. ‘It’s called sex,’ he says. ‘Now, I’m going back to sleep.’

It’s not long before he’s woken by Trixie’s horrified squeals. Apparently she’s found a _lot_ of information.


End file.
